Alienation and death are the only certainties of life. You’re the girl* of my dreams (IOW, completely unattainable).Ĥ6. We’re all technically dying the second we’re born, but let’s pretend my feelings towards you are significant in a meaningful sense.Ĥ5. Boy*, you must be mortality, cuz i’m obsessed with you.Ĥ4. If this is more up your alley than flowers, hearts, and candy, using these depressingly corny pickup lines ensures that you’ll find someone to wallow in a self-depreciating puddle of existential despair with you. And later, Roman Emperor Claudius II had two men named Valentine executed on February 14th. The true roots of Valentine’s day can be traced back to an ancient Roman celebration called Lupercalia– a strange fertility ceremony involving sacrificial goats. * = insert desired pronoun of lucious lasagna lover. Are you a rice cooker? Cuz you’re makin me all steamy and the pressure’s building. Are you scotch? Cuz your body is smokin’.Ģ2. Are you a prepackaged lunchable pizza? Cause I’ll never get enough of you.ġ9. Boy* you’re like a calamari appetizer, cuz I’m totally pre-octopi-ed with you.ġ8. Girl* are you a rainbow latte? Cuz I’d wait in line all day to get my hands on you.ġ5. Girl*, you must be a fine wine, cuz I could get drunk on your legs.ġ3. Are you coagulated and full of protein? Cuz you’re lookin’ gouuuuda today.ġ2. Damn boy,* are you a Double Crunchwrap Supreme Quesarito Combo with extra pico and cheese? Cuz you’re making my heart burn.ġ1. Read on for cheese-filled, non-GMO pickup lines that are locally sourced and guaranteed to make them hungry for more.ġ0. * = Insert desired pronoun of crush-worthy literary bae.įoodies are known for their refined interest in food, food photography, uploading said food photography to Instagram, and regramming photos of their favorite food photography. (In Gollum voice) dayum girl*, are you Frodo? Cuz I’d die to wear your ring. Are you into the dark arts? Cuz I’d like to Slytherin-to your pants.ĩ. ![]() Are you available in large print? Cause I’d like to check you out but I have macular degeneration.Ĩ. My name must be Vladimir or Estragon cuz I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.ħ. Girl* you’ve Metamorphosed my Heart of Darkness into Light in August.Ħ. Are you an overdue book? Cuz you have F-I-N-E written all over you.ĥ. ![]() Are you a first print, limited first edition from 1802? Cuz I’ve been looking for you my whoooole life.Ĥ. Are you related to Gabriel García Márquez? Cause I think you’re going to end my 100 years of solitude.ģ. Daaaayum girl,* are you a book? Cuz I’d like to get under your covers.Ģ. These funny pickup lines are best respectfully whispered with inside voices.ġ. ![]() But the cute bibliophiles we’re talking about are typically two-legged, non-bristle-tailed humans and can be found in the aisles of your local library or bookstore. The phrase “bookworm” was inspired by the silverfish and linoleum beetles that inhabit the pages of old paperbacks and periodicals.
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